Mirror, Mirror

When I was in high school, I had a friend who, despite being pretty, kind, and interesting, had the worst taste in boyfriends you could imagine. Seriously, it got to the point where we were no longer surprised to get collect calls in the middle of the night from Inmate du Jour.

One afternoon, this friend - we'll call her Adora - had invited another friend - and we'll call her Jerrica - and me over to hang out so she could lament the precarious status of her relationship with a boy we'll refer to as Zartan, the current ankle-bracelet-bedecked jackass who was wasting her time. We let her go on for a while, until finally, Jerrica and I could stand it no longer. We were tired of seeing Adora teamed up with some scumbag who wouldn't deserve to kiss her feet, much less treat her like the dirt beneath them. Our solution was simple. From that point forward, whenever Adora would mention his name, we forced her to look in the mirror and recite:

"I am beautiful. I am wonderful. Zartan is a pig."

This went on for weeks. We really did drag her to the nearest shiny surface and make her say the words every time. Eventually, it became something of a mantra for us, long after Zartan had been replaced by another winner.

There will always be people who don't deserve our attention, but get it anyway. There will be things that shouldn't bother us, but do.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find something reflective. Where's Destro when I need him?